7 POWERS SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE CONTROL

Our life in general is faced with emotions, normal and abnormal feeling and other destructors that are usually termed ‘Inner Fight’, which destructs the way of making plans and decision towards the future. Some of those inner fights are; Doubts, Distress, Fear, Jealousy, Lower self-esteem, Addictions, and Obsessions.

DOUBTS

Sometimes we allow doubt to creep into our minds and we tell ourselves that we have no business expecting success and we feel like a fraud when we get that promotion. “Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.” — William Shakespeare

Doubt, the intimidating inner critic and modest detractor determined to undermine your success. Despite your best intentions to overpower the crippling self-talk, it is futile. In a similar vein, doubt can become self-deprecating while wreaking havoc with your personal confidence if left unchecked. It holds you back from seizing your opportunities. It makes getting started or finishing things harder than they need to be.

To overcome self-doubt requires affirmative action while being attentive to the inner critic — that is, you take action in spite of the doubt. The key to overcome doubt is to venture beyond your comfort zone and try new things often. Each time we meet a minor victory, we gain confidence, thus weakening doubt. If you look to the past and see how well things have gone many times despite those self-doubts, it becomes easier to let go of them or to ignore them and to focus on the more likely positive outcome and to take action.

FEAR

Fear is often one of the strongest emotions we experience when it comes to taking on new challenges and tasks in a career.  Fear is a terrible sensation, which we never ever want to feel. How lucky are we to live in a time and place where it's so often possible to avoid the things that scare us most. For instance; violence, disease, natural disasters, dangerous animals, and, at least until the very end, death.

OBSESSION

Obsession is “an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind.” A person can be obsessed with an activity, a thought, a story, another person; the list is almost endless. This can become problematic in some instances when a person only wants to think or talk about one thing. However, it can usually be controlled, which is what separates this term from another, often similar-seeming one. Obsessions vary in their power. When they’re mild, we’re able to work and distract ourselves. When intense, our thoughts are laser-focused on our obsession. As with compulsions, they operate outside our conscious control and rarely abate with reasoning.

The best way to end an obsession is to “lose our mind and come to our senses.” It follows that if an obsession is to avoid feeling, getting in touch with feelings and allowing them to flow will help dissolve our obsession. If our obsession helps us avoid taking action, we can get support to face our fears and act

ADDICTION

“Addiction is defined as not having control over doing, taking or using something, to the point where it could be harmful to you.” When a person is addicted to something, like a drug or a behaviour, it usually causes problematic results, especially dangerous or harmful ones that affect the individual and everyone around them. In addition, the person’s continuous use of the substance or participation in the behaviour is compulsory: they cannot stop even though they may want to.

Addiction has traditionally been parted into two types, on one hand, as a medical model that sees addiction as a disease characterized by compulsive and relapsing drug use over which the addict has little or no control and, on the other, a moral model, which sees addiction as a choice characterized by voluntary behaviour under the control of the addict.

You overcome addiction when you make your urge to use or to act on your addiction a minor and diminishing factor in your life. Learn how to control addictive urges through mind management techniques and appreciate the rewards that come from a non-addicted lifestyle. Build and appreciate personal relationships and turn to positive communities for support and companionship. In so doing, you find your purpose and plan a future that leads to accomplishing your life goals.

JEALOUSY

Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses feelings ranging from fear of abandonment to rage and humiliation. Jealousy strikes both men and women and is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party. The threat may be real or perceived. It is not limited to romantic relationships but also can arise among siblings competing for parental attention or in friendships. Jealousy is notable from envy in that jealousy always involves a third party seen as a rival for affection.

Kinds of jealousy may include; sibling rivalry, platonic jealousy, workplace jealousy, and romantic jealousy. Jealousy arises in friendships due to the same insecurities found in other relationships: feelings of comparison, a fear of being replaced, and feelings of competition. Work jealousy arises between colleagues vying for the same type of position. If one colleague feels that another received, but was undeserving of, a salary hike or a title promotion, he may experience jealousy. According to Psychology Today, when two people join into a romantic relationship with reciprocal love, most fears, vulnerabilities, and insecurities stemming from childhood seem to melt away. However, when a perceived threat such as suspected infidelity arises, the insecurities return with vengeance.

If your jealousy arises from feeling insecure or from feeling that your worth is dependent on the opinion or praise of one individual then you can try to improve your sense of self-esteem and belief in yourself, independently of your partner or whoever is at the centre of your jealous fears. For example, Write a list of your positive qualities and achievements and read it through on a daily basis, or when you are feeling insecure, to remind yourself that you do have worth. Moreover, spend some time doing some reasonable activities or pastimes that meet your own wishes or needs - what you will enjoy will depend on you. This might be exercise or talking to friends or music or going to a health centre - whatever you would like to do for your own enjoyment.

DISTRESS

An internal state of negative stress, which is unwelcome, uncomfortable, or exceeds the capacity of the individual experiencing it to cope. Distress is not limited to having great pain, anxiety, sorrow, affliction, suffering, or trouble Common causes of financial distress may include, Expectations of self and others, Cultural pressures, financial issues, Relationship issues, Break ups Loneliness, Serious injury, Chronic illness, Eating disorders, Personality disorders etc.

This serious pain “can hijack our ability to think straight.” That’s because we shift into survival mode and don’t have access to the problem-solving part of our brains, said Rachel Eddins (M.Ed., LPC-S, a therapist in Houston, Texas). “When we are in distress and lack feelings of safety, our thinking brain is hijacked by our emotional limbic system and we move into primitive drives to fight or flight. If we’re too scared, we freeze or get stuck as if we’re just trying to survive the ordeal. Because our thinking brain is offline, this can get very big and out of control.” Naturally, it’s hard to deal with something so scary. And many of us turn to unhealthy habits or excessive versions of healthy ones, such as over-exercising to avoid the pain.

LOWER SELF-ESTEEM

Low self-esteem is having a generally negative overall opinion of oneself, judging or evaluating oneself negatively, and placing a general negative value on oneself as a person at the heart of self-esteem lie your central beliefs about yourself and your core ideas about the kind of person you are. Therefore, to put it simply, if your experiences have generally been positive, your beliefs about yourself are likely to be equally positive.

However, if your experiences have been generally negative, then your beliefs about yourself are likely to be equally negative. Negative beliefs about yourself constitute the essence of low self-esteem. This essence may have coloured and contaminated many aspects of your life. People with low self-esteem find it hard to give themselves credit for their achievements, or to believe that their good results are the outcome of their own skills and strengths, and may not take proper care of themselves.

It’s said a goal seldom fuels our desire for success without the accompanying struggle to accomplish it. After all, it’s whom we become that ignites our passion and sustains us in attaining inner victory. “Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to overcome apathy, doubt or fear.” — Dan Millman